Thread:TheScienceWolf2/@comment-39800824-20200828050237/@comment-39800824-20200828050739

I'm trying so hard and I really hope this doesn't sound guilt trippy:

Since my old apology was bad. I just need to write another one because I feel so terrible for what I did.

I totally understand if you never want to forgive me or talk to me ever again.

I do understand that. I did terrible things, and I’m really sorry.

Sure, you might think this doesn’t mean anything at all. To me, it really does. I just want you to owe you the explanation.

You deserve an apology. My last one I wrote was horrible. My discord one wasn’t much better. It wasn’t very clear at all either. In this one, I’m going to try to be more clear.

I made mistakes. I kept saying “I’m leaving the wiki forever” and then two weeks later, I came back. That was the bad thing to do. It didn’t just hurt me. It hurt so many others(30+ people). I made it too dramatic and I’m sorry for that.

I’m sorry it took me so long to apologize. I want to start with why it took me so long.

1.) I was trying to do a wiki break, I didn’t see anything after Indi’s last message. I left after that. 2.) I didn’t realize that I was blocked for 6months until this morning. 3.) I didn’t realize I had 3 pages of hate mail on my message wall(which I totally deserved, present tense too) 4.) I didn’t realize why you were mad at me until this morning. 5.) This morning, someone told me to check the wiki, and I did. I was surprised to see so many messages of people mad at me. And thank you to that person that helped me realize exactly what I did wrong and what I needed to apologize about. Thank you.

I know you all might think I’m this horrible person, and you have every right to. It’s your choice. I’m fine with it and I’ll let it go.

Thank you to all the people who left a message on my wall. You basically explained everything so well and now I understand from your perspective now and thanks for that. Now I realize all the mistakes and hurt I have caused.

I didn’t mean to hurt people, I hate it when people are hurt. I left and came back. My friends cried and then were happy and then mad. You all have the right to be mad because I would be mad at myself if I was in your shoes.

I’ve been trying so hard to understand everything from your view. I’ve seen the screenshots of old messages I sent and they look horrible. I don’t recognize that person and I feel bad that I did that.

I, Jules, hurt people. I never thought that would ever come out of me. I am really sorry. I blame all of my mistakes on myself. No one else.

I feel terrible and I regret everything. I really do, you might think this is another guilt trip apology, I’m trying so hard to not make it that.

To Science, thank you. Your blog post highlighted all the key points of honesty I really did need to hear. I did hurt people and I am so sorry for doing that. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done Science. Thanks for helping me realize.